Miriam, thanks so much for your question. This is so helpful because it brings home the reality of how important it is that we have a good grasp of Scripture in every season of our lives, including those when we are suffering.
The first thing to say whenever considering suffering, is that it is a massive subject and there is some mystery involved. However, I also believe that Scripture gives us enough information so we can navigate together the seasons of suffering we face.
So should we be glad that we suffer?
Whenever I consider the subject of suffering I want to look to Jesus, whom the Bible describes as a ‘man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering’ (Is 53:2). Just stop for a moment and consider that. Who in our day would you consider to be someone acquainted with suffering? It’s certainly not the polished and airbrushed portraits found on social media! This portrait of Jesus reminds us that as the apostle of our faith (Heb 3:1), he has the lived experience of what we face and endure. In short he’s not an academic theorising about how one should live through suffering – he has gone before us!
The second thing to say is that whenever I consider suffering, there is one place in scripture that I instinctively go to – the Garden of Gethsemane. Why, because here we have a gut-wrenching window into what it means for Jesus to endure suffering!
Please pause now and read Matthew 26:36-46
Lessons from the Garden
Lesson 1: …he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” (v38)
Here in this verse we see the truth of what it means to be a man acquainted with suffering. His life was ‘sinking’ under the deluge of suffering that was coming upon him. Honestly, sometimes as Christians we hold back from sharing this reality with others because we think we should be more together. Jesus wasn’t. Jesus was overwhelmed with sorrow.
Lesson 2: “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.” (v39)
In short, he’s saying, ‘I don’t like this! In fact, I don’t want anything to do with this overwhelming suffering that I’m experiencing. Father God, please take this from me!’ I think this passage gives us a model for praying for help in seasons of suffering. In fact, I think this passage sits alongside the Psalms which often express a deep longing for suffering to be taken from God’s people (e.g. Ps 13; Ps 71). Jesus’ words here and the Psalmist’s words, are not those of someone who has come to love and find joy in suffering. No, they want it to stop! And they turn their eyes towards heaven and are crying out to God for his intervention. Miriam, it’s ok to say to God “I hate this suffering I am going through. In fact, please God would you intervene and rescue me from it“.
Lesson 3: Yet not as I will, but as you will (v39b)
Notice how Jesus, in his hours of pain, is devoted to his Father more than the removal of his suffering. Sometimes we can craft a picture of God where he is little more than a genie in a bottle and through enough (whatever that means) prayer and faith we get whatever we want. However, Jesus doesn’t model that way of facing suffering for us here. He models a submission to his Father (John 5:19-20) that even means a willingness to walk through the valley of the shadow of death (Ps 23:4). This is not a delight in his suffering. No, suffering is still suffering for Jesus and we see this in his cry from the cross: “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” (Matt 27:46). Yet there is a longing and heart posture in Jesus that transcends suffering–a desire to do the will of his Father, regardless of the cost. For Jesus that meant the way of the cross. For many of the early pioneer missionaries it meant a life of hardship, obscurity and early death. Yet the desire to do the Father’s will transcended their natural desire for suffering to cease. If you’re feeling challenged… so am I. We should be!
Lesson 4: “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” (v40b)
Notice how Jesus’ story of suffering has other people integrally woven into it: Peter and the two sons of Zebedee (v37). In our ruthlessly individualistic and private culture, this fact can get lost (or edited out of the story). Yet, in Jesus’ hour of need, what did he do? He took friends with him. In fact, part of Jesus’ suffering in the garden was the failure of these friends to keep watch with him. Why is this important? It’s important because Jesus was not too spiritual for the comfort that is found in close companionship! One of the reasons why we have encouraged everyone to be in a running partners group (and no, it has nothing to do with running), is because when seasons of suffering break over our lives (and all of us will face them) we need established friends around us who can be called upon to ‘keep watch’ and to ensure that we are not tormented by the voice of loneliness in our hour/season of suffering.
So, are we meant to find a place of gladness in the suffering we’re enduring. No! Yet, at the same time, Hebrews does show us a form of gladness that is linked to suffering. It says: ‘looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross‘. Here in these verses Jesus is not glad for the suffering, yet he is glad for the results of his suffering. It’s clear in Jesus’ case that the results are the redeemed (you and me). Yet we’ve got to be honest, that in many cases of our suffering it’s hard to see what the results are (Rom 5:3)! This is where there is mystery and we shouldn’t be too quick to try and casually fill in the blanks. In fact, I suspect there will be countless moments in our lives when we will never understand what is going on and why God has allowed us to endure that particular suffering. Yet it does not negate the fact that (1) Christ understands, (2) we can pray with honesty for it to be taken away, (3) we can at the same time learn to commit ourselves to the will of God regardless of the cost and (4) we can look for brothers and sisters to walk with us through these seasons.
Miriam, I hope this is helpful in thinking about a right heart posture towards the experience of suffering in this life.